Insomniac

I have been having the most difficult time sleeping for the past week or so. Getting to sleep, staying asleep, getting back to sleep... all of it. It's so ironic, because you'd think with how tired you are because you haven't been sleeping, it'd be a lot easier after a while, but it's not.

 

I have even been good these past couple of days at getting to bed on time in order to help make up for it, but I'm still waking up constantly and having trouble getting comfortable at night. Last night in particular, I woke up around 2am and couldn't fall back asleep for what seemed like hours, but who knows. I didn't want to check my clock because I was afraid it would wake me up even more... and probably discourage me when I saw how late it was.

 

I'm not usually one to sleep through the whole night without waking up at all. My internal clock has officially reset to my schedule and I wake up EVERY day, without fail, at 4:30am. I suppose that's a good thing in case my alarm doesn't go off one morning, but at times when I'm on a different schedule, it can get a little annoying. However, still when I do that, I tend to roll over and look at my clock and fall right back to sleep. This week, I've been waking up about every 2 hours. Sometimes I fall asleep quickly, other times it's like last night when I just lay there for a while.

 

An afternoon nap could be helpful, but I've had no time for it this week and don't see that happening over the next day or so either. Next week, however, I'm back on the early morning shift for a few days. Maybe that will help... Otherwise, I may have to pull out the melatonin again.

Awesome August

Here we are again, at the start of another month. I've always been told that time goes by faster and faster the older that you get. Well I can't imagine what it's going to be like in another 10 years or so. Especially with celebrating my first anniversary and realizing that I've officially been married a whole year!

But this has been an interesting month for me. I've posted before about my schedule changes, which have made for me being pretty tired this month and in desperate need of a vacation. Then on top of that, I've had two bouts of this bug that's kept me in bed for a couple of days each time. I'm just getting over the most recent. Thank God I had taken today off as well! It's given me a chance to recuperate. But then tomorrow, it's back to the grind.

But now, I'm really looking forward to the month ahead. It's the first month in FOREVER where Jarrod and I have pretty much nothing planned. I'm so excited! It's time to relax and hang out with our friends and just enjoy our time together.

And now my computer is about to run out of battery, so instead of getting up to plug it in, I'm just going to wrap this up.

I honestly feel a little lost as to goals this month. I've been sort of out of the loop between vacation time and feeling a little under the weather, that I'm not even sure which way I'm going this month. But a few things I know I want to do:

• We should finally be getting the office set up the way we'd like! That means it's time to get busy with working in a slightly more professional environment, rather than on the couch.
• I've fallen out of the habit of setting up a meal plan, which is great for knowing what we'll be eating and being able to make sure the meals are balanced and not spending too much at the grocery store. I'm starting that back up this month.
• Finally, as I said before, it's time to relax. I think I really need it. 

And last month:

• Get things moving on this project with Rea. Not like I'd like. Moving this on to this month.
• I've been working on changing some of my lifestyle and eating habits (I'll post something on this later in the week), so I really want to stick to them this month.
• Celebrate the most amazing year of my life with the most amazing guy in the world!

Happy Anniversary, dear

Today I celebrate the most amazing year of my life. One year ago today, I walked down the aisle towards the most incredible man, whom I love more than anything in the world. I'm so proud to have you and to call you mine. Here's to the lifetime ahead of us! I love you.

My name is Stephanie and I have Crohn's Disease

Is that the first time I've posted that on here? It's oddly liberating. But it's not the type of thing I just come out and say. I'm not afraid to talk about it, but I wait for the right moment. I'm sure there are many people out there that I've known for a very long time who don't know that I do, simply because it's never come up. But this is something that I've dealt with for most of my life. I was officially diagnosed when I was 13, but had been dealing with symptoms for probably 2 years prior. Twice it's landed me in the hospital for a couple of weeks and a third time that was indirectly related. I've been up and down for years, trying a number of different remedies and diets. Sometimes they've worked for a while, other times not at all. (If you don't know what Crohn's Disease is, here's a link that's got some good, albeit medical, information.)

But in the course of getting ready for my sister's wedding, something just snapped inside of me. Trust me, I've been fed up with dealing with this for years, but at that point I got officially FED UP. It was a combination of being frustrated with just dealing with it day-to-day, and worry about a new drug that my doctor recommends, which could really help me, but has some potentially pretty awful side effects. Some things that I've tried to help me feel better, I haven't stuck with because I haven't been ready to make that commitment or spend that amount of money. But now, I just to do away with this. I've learned to live with it. Now I want to learn to live without it.

So I've started on a couple of new things over the past several weeks. First of all, I've started eating more anti-inflammatory foods and trying to cut out the inflammatory foods. Anti-inflammatory foods include fish, olive oil, green tea, walnuts, broccoli, green beans, ginger and colorful fruits. Inflammatory foods include red meat (which I've been cutting down on, not cutting out!), vegetable oil, dairy, refined grains and sugars. Some of that's been an easy transition. Others are more difficult. Part of it, is that now I'm cooking for myself and my husband, so I try to make sure he has things he likes, too. Also, fish smells. Bad. I'm washing my dishes much more often these days. And it's also usually pretty expensive. I've been keeping an eye on weekly specials at all the local grocery stores and making the rounds to where ever has the best selection. (And as a side note, I got a green tea latte with soy milk at Starbucks, and it may have been one of the best drinks I've ever had. Yum!)

Another new thing I've been trying is acupuncture. I've heard for years that it's been used successfully as a treatment for Crohn's, but I've never quite had the desire (or money) to try it out. But I figured, it's worth a shot. Western medicine hasn't been working, let's give Eastern a try! So I've been to two appointments so far. He says it's best to start with five and some people respond right away, and for others it takes a little longer, but usually by the end of five you/he have a pretty good idea of where things stand and how you're going to respond. It's been interesting. This may sound stupid, but I haven't quite worked up the guts to look at myself with needles sticking out of me. I'm totally fine with needles. God knows I get poked with them enough. But there's something about seeing the needle poking into you that I don't like. I never watch when they take blood and always have them cover it up if I have an IV. But anyways, the needles don't really hurt. You can definitely feel them go in, but it's not a poke or pierce like with needles we're all used to. How he described it, and I can see what he means, it's like a disruption of the energy that's flowing through your body. You feel a little "sensation" and then it's gone. Some of them have been a little uncomfortable, but that's it. No pain, just mild discomfort.

I don't feel like a brand new women yet, so I'm looking forward to these next three appointments, so we can hopefully get a better grasp on where things are with me. So often when I meet a new doctor, and I'm sure an acupuncturist is no different, I think it takes them a little while to realize how serious my disease is. From some angles, I seem just fine. I'm a normal weight for my size and I've never had surgery on my colon. To some, that would seem like a mild case. But once they start understanding my history, they quickly change their perspective. I am also, as my doctor often points out, a chronic under-exaggerator when it comes to my symptoms. I don't do it on purpose, but I've lived with them for so long, that what most people would rank as a 9 or 10, is more like a 4 or 5 in my book.

I'm giving these new things a try and if they don't work, then I'll be moving on to some other methods. But I'm gonna beat this. And I'm planning on doing sooner rather than later.

This schedule is cutting into my blogging time

So I'm a week into my "normal person" schedule and still have another week yet. And I'm not gonna lie... it's been a little difficult getting used to it. As I'm sure everyone is aware, my usual 4am start time is not ideal. But now that I'm used to it, I have a bit of a hard time getting off of it.

Even though I'm starting 3 hours later than usual, by the time noon hits, I still get that automatic feeling that it's time to go home, making those final hours incredibly long. But the real difficult part is having so much less time in the afternoon. Usually I have plenty of time to run my errands, get home, watch a little TV or even take a tap, do some cleaning and have dinner on the table by the time Jarrod gets home. When I'm on this schedule, I feel that I'm so rushed for time. I had to run to the store today, and by the time I was done, I had about half an hour before Jarrod would be home. I tried to get in a quick nap (because another difficult part of switching schedules is being extra tired merely because your normal routine is mixed up) but hardly drifted off before he was home.

So needless to say, my blogging time has taken a hit! I should actually be getting ready for bed now to try and make up some sleep, but I figured I'd rather make the time for writing now. But don't get me wrong. I'd much rather have a normal schedule than the super early morning one I'm on now, but when I do finally get to do that, I am going to miss some of the freedom allowed with going into work so early. So for now, I'll try to appreciate this time that I have where I get to drive into work when the sun is actually up.