A Big Test

I took a pretty important test today (and no, it was not a pregnancy test, because I know that's where all of your minds just went.) It was a JC Virus Antibody test. If you remember my post from a couple of months ago where I talked about some changes I was making because of my Crohn's Disease, I mentioned there was this new medication that my doctor wanted me to consider, but it's got some pretty bad side effects. Well, essentially, this test will tell me whether or not I have to worry about those side effects. My doctor told me before that you've got about a 50/50 chance of having it.

If it comes back negative, the odds of these side effects drop to almost zero. But if it comes back positive, the odds go way high and basically takes this new medication off the table. I've been on my current medication for about 2 1/2 years now, and it has never really made that big of an improvement in my life. I mean I'm stable and it's kept things at a tolerable state, but I'm looking for some options that can make a big difference. This new medication may be one of those options.

My doctor told me this test just got approved by the FDA in the U.S. and just got the approval needed from the UNC Hospital system like today. So I'm the first one there to have this test done. Don't worry, it was nothing fancy. All they did was take some blood, so it wasn't some weird test I actually had to do anything for.

But now I have to wait. Of course they weren't sure exactly how long since I'm the first one to have it done, but he thought about a week or so. I've been praying all day that this will open up some doors for me. I'll be sure to post an update when I know more. But for now... we'll just keep praying.

Discouragement and Faith

I feel that I’ve been very unproductive this month. I don’t think that I’ve accomplished anything that I had hoped to accomplish by this point. Getting Rylie is a big part of that. She keeps me busy and doesn’t allow me to take my eye off of her for more than 2 seconds, which greatly cuts down on my getting-anything-accomplished time. It’s hard… I feel like I haven’t had time to be a wife, a sister, a friend. I hope I haven’t given up too much here. I hope I’ll be able to find my footing again soon. I don’t want to lose the rest of the year.

All of this has been weighing on me a lot lately. Also not getting to see Jarrod seems to get harder and harder every day. It’s starting to really get discouraging. I don’t like coming home to an empty house everyday, and Rylie hardly counts as company at this point. I used to try to take a day every week where I’d move around my sleeping schedule in order to have dinner with him, but now with Rylie that’s impossible. At least for the time being.

But we do have a trip planned for the beach this weekend and I think it’ll be really good for us. It’ll be just the 3 of us: our little family. I’m so excited about actually have a full 2 days with my husband. At this point I haven’t seen him since Sunday, except for when he comes in a kisses me goodnight or when I kiss him goodbye when I leave for work in the morning. I’m just hoping there will be some solution to this sometime soon. Perhaps something I just can’t see at the moment. I’m just so tired of missing him all the time. I want that cliché life where we have a cup of coffee together in the morning and I can have dinner on the table when he gets home and we take Rylie for a walk together through the neighborhood and then cuddle on the couch watching our favorite TV shows before going to bed.  

I keep hoping and praying that the answer is right around the corner. I try to have faith that all things really do work out together for good and there’s a bigger plan out there that I may not be able to see, but I know will continue to lead me down the right path. It’s difficult on a day-to-day basis to see where things will eventually go, but I know there’s someone out there who’s looking out for me and won’t let me down.