Defying Gravity

I can't believe another month has already come and gone. And before we know it it'll be another month and another year. And at the end of that, I hope we'll all be proud of what we've done and have become. I'm very reflective at the moment because I know this month is going to bring some changes. I'm right on the edge, preparing to jump into whatever the rest of my life will hold and I'm excited... and a little anxious... and a little scared.

I know I'm where I'm supposed to be, but that doesn't mean that a little unsurity doesn't creep in every now and then. Big things are coming. I've got a colonoscopy coming up soon which will help determine the future of my treatment. I have the writing class in a few weeks, which makes me kind of nervous. But I'm glad for the excitement. I feel like I've been playing it safe for a while and now I'm taking charge.

I'm not posting any goals this month. Trust me, I have some and I'll post updates on anything I get accomplished. But for now, it's time to take that leap... and see where I land.

Something has changed within me, Something is not the same

I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game

Too late for second-guessing, Too late to go back to sleep

It's time to trust my instincts, Close my eyes and leap.

It's time to try Defying gravity

I think I'll try Defying gravity

And you can't pull me down!

-Wicked

Looking back at 2011

Here we are at the final day of 2011 and I have to say... I'm glad it's here. This year has definitely not been what I expected. It has had some nice highlights: my sister's and my best friend's weddings, some fun trips that Jarrod and I took, paying off our debt. But overall, I feel that I accomplished very little this year, and I feel that I didn't put forth an effort that I can be proud of when I look back over the past 12 months.

I realized a week or so ago that I had set some goals back at the beginning of the year, but I hadn't looked back at those goals in a very long time. I couldn't even remember what they were. Sure I read a bunch of books (although they weren’t necessarily challenging books) and worked out a better budget that we’ve been good at sticking to, but of the goals that really matter, I fell pretty short. That's not what I want to see when I look back over the past year of my life. When I have goals, I want to think about them and work towards them every day. I don't want them to be some arbitrary idea I came up with because I was trying to find something to write on my blog. I want them to be things that I'm passionate about and actively work out a plan for accomplishing them. That's how things are going to change this next year!

While 2011 has been fine, 2012 is going to be different. I already have a couple of changes in the works that are going to make this year a bit more interesting. I think they will really help expand my writing, too, because these are things that I'm passionate about, but also things that scare me a little. Scare me in the taking-a-leap-of-faith kind of way. But passion and fear tend to lead to good writing topics.

I'm working on figuring out exactly what I want to accomplish in the coming year. I'm going to keep it simple and attainable. I'm going to put up a list of these goals at my new desk (Oh yah, my parents gave me this awesome desk for Christmas, but it has to be set up. I'll show it off a little once we get it put together.) and I'm going to work out a plan for accomplishing them. That way I will constantly be reminded of what I want to accomplish and how I'm doing on getting there.

Well, there are my goals for my goals. Tomorrow I'll actually get into those goals and a look ahead at the coming year. Enough looking back.