Thank God for fresh starts

"Your mercies are new every morning, So let me wake with the dawn"

-Nichole Nordeman, "Mercies New"

I'm so glad there are such things as second chances in this life... even though I know sometimes I could really use a do-over button. But that's what each morning brings: a new day, another chance to make up for yesterday.

Yesterday was one of the worst days I've had in a long time. I felt that others were putting blame on me for things I couldn't change and spent the day feeling down and feeling pretty much like a failure. On top of that. I don't like the way I reacted. I retreated and sought comfort in places I shouldn't have and I'm still feeling the effects of it now.

But today, I have another shot at it, another chance to get it right. I woke up feeling pretty lousy and seriously considered staying home today, but I'm not going to let that hold me back. It's a new day and I don't want to waste another one like I did yesterday.

What's on my mind

I haven't felt much like writing this month. I think I've had too much on my mind, which is funny because you'd think with so much on my mind, I'd have tons that I'd want to write about. And there are things that I really want to put into words, but don't feel that I can talk about them quite yet (even though those of you who actually read this probably already  know.) But still, just a few more weeks before I feel I can be a little more open. I think that's my problem: I can't talk about what I want to talk about, so I just don't talk at all. So I won't say any more...

This one goes out to the one I love

Today I dedicate this post to the most amazing husband I could ever ask for! He has held my hand through some really difficult times and put up with my annoying habits (not that he doesn't have some of his own, but those aren't relevant today). I am so appreciative of him and so glad that I have him in my life. I've had to make some big decisions recently, that affect both of us, and he's been so supportive and willing to do whatever it takes to help me accomplish my goals. It feels so good to have someone standing by me. I'm a lucky lady.

Happy 25th birthday, baby!

I'm in a glass case of emotion!

I said before that I don't want to do whiny, feeling-sorry-for-myself kind of posts... but I've had a rough couple of days!

First of all, Jarrod has been gone all week. He was gone over the weekend hunting and then left Monday morning for Florida for a work trip. He's been there for the past three days and comes back tomorrow. It's rough enough not having him around. It's just pretty boring. I guess I should be used to it. When we were on opposite shifts it really was no different, except he was there when I woke up in the morning... albeit, asleep. But still, I don't like it when he's not around.

Then, yesterday, I made a bit of a misstep and ended up with a sprained ankle. It wasn't so bad at the time, but last night it woke me up because it was hurting so bad and I haven't been able to walk on it all day. I'm sure I was quite a spectacle this morning as I was hopping around on one leg. Thankfully I have great parents and parents-in-law who bring me over crutches and take care of my dog and clean up my messy house since I was having problems putting anything away.

So of all days when I really needed someone here, I've been all by myself... which has made me pretty emotional. I'm not even sure how many times I've cried in the past 24 hours. I've cried because I've been alone... I've cried because my foot hurt... I've cried because my dad cleaned my house while I was at my appointment... I feel like I'm going to cry right now just writing this. I don't know why I'm so emotional. I'm really not much of a crier. But I've got another day off and hopefully that'll be what I need to get back on my feet (no pun intended.)

Back in the groove

We're back at that point again... the real start of the year when everything starts to get back to normal. We've had 6 weeks of holidays and events and vacations and now it's time to get back to life as usual. It's back to work and back to school and no holidays in sight... unless you work for a bank. We have renewed vacation and sick days, but who wants to use those in the first weeks of the year?

I can't say that I'm entirely upset about this time of year. In news, things get really slow over the holiday season, but start to pick up once everyone gets back to their normal lives. Here, it's always better to stay busy. And it's frustrating when you have a good story idea, but you can't make it happen because the people you need to speak with are on holiday. Yes, I'm glad to be back to the normal day-to-day.