To Beka and Nate: A Toast

Sister, to you I raise up a toast
Because you’re the one I look up to the most.

You weren’t too happy when I first came to the house.
She used to pinch my cheeks, even pushed me off the couch.

But things are different now that we’re grown,
And you’re one of the best friends I have ever known.

When we were young, you always played the lead.
So Nathan, beware, that’s something she won’t likely concede.

And then came the years of Super Nintendo and bikes
Of capture-the-flag and telling Hannah to take a hike.

If you're privileged enough to sit at our family table
You'll probably think we're crazy, maybe a little unstable.

We laugh and joke and finish each other's thoughts
It drives our grandmother crazy. She says, “That's not how you were taught.”

All through my life, I’ve realized a lot
I ask, “What would Beka do… if she were in this spot?”

That's led me many places, some bad, some good.
But I know so much of who I am is because of you.

You were such a support when I was in your shoes.
No wedding planner could’ve been as good as you.

We say there's a FRIENDS reference for every part of life,
So after today “you'll never be a bride again, you'll just be someone's wife.”

Nathan, I’m glad to have you join our clan.
God knows the Lindsey crew could use another man.

And while I know you went to NC State,
I have to say “Carolina Rules!” Sorry, Nate

But now to some more serious stuff.
I’ll try not to cry, but it’s gonna be tough.

So love her, protect her and say nice things.
She loves a kind word… and a little bling.

So, Beka as you exchange your Lindsey for a Frye
Know that no one is happier for you, than I.

So once again, I raise my glass
To the best sister for which I could ask.

Here's to love and joy and a life that is great.
Here's to you, Beka and Nate.

2 Days!

My big sissy gets married in 2 days! Cannot begin to say how excited I am... and how busy! This week has already gotten crazy. I met up with the fam yesterday to put some of the centerpieces together (They look great, by the way. And now you know that they were personally made by us!) along with some other bits of the decor.

We'll be heading back over there today to actually set some of it up. I believe the tables should already be in place, so we'll be making sure they all look good and coordinating the table numbers and seating arrangements, etc. It's been a lot of fun getting ready for this wedding, I think because it's for someone that I love so much and I get to be really involved, but I'm not dealing with the stresses of it being my day. Also, my wedding was the first wedding I'd ever been in, so I wasn't quite sure what to expect.  Now, 3 weddings later, I'm a seasoned professional (or whatever).

But following the set up today, I still got mani/pedis and dinner with the fam and the luncheon tomorrow and rehearsal in the evening, not to mention several errands that still need to be run. When will it all get done? I have no idea, but it will.

And somewhere in all of this, I still have to finish up my toast. I've gotten a good bit of it written, but I need to do some fine tuning and add a few more things to it. I've something special up my sleeve and I'm super excited and super nervous. I'm not the best public speaker. In fact, sitting here right now thinking about it, I just got butterflies in my stomach. Will definitely need a little wine beforehand to help calm my nerves!

It's probably going to be too crazy to do any more posts over the next couple of days, but I'll be sure to give a wrap up after the event. Can't wait!

Florida Family

Well, I didn't quite make it on my posting everyday, but that's OK. I had a very full day yesterday, between work and then meeting up with the Lindsey clan at the mall to shop for my little sis, who I haven't seen in over a month because she's been off gallivanting around the Caribbean (and getting school credit for it!)

It's nice having the whole family here. Sometimes you get so busy with day-to-day life that you miss out on opportunities to hang out with your family, so I'm appreciative to have this time with everyone. Plus, my awesome cousins are in town from Florida, so that makes it even more fun.

Karen is beautiful and awesome. She's someone I really admire and is such a wonderful mother. She's also great to talk to over a glass (or 3...) of wine or a margarita!

Mariah is growing up so fast! She's headed off to high school after the summer, but I still remember dressing her up in our old dance costumes when she was like 3. She's grown into a beautiful young woman.

Taylor is my guy. He is so much fun to be around, even when he sucks Jarrod into some zombie-shooting PlayStation game. He actually spent the night with us the other night and we watched "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" and the next morning he helped Jarrod hang a new ceiling fan in our office. He's so handy!

And Katherine is such a cutie. She's always wears the most fun, colorful outfits with a fabulous headband or flower in her hair. She's pretty quiet when you first meet her, but not for long.

So seriously, it's pretty much my favorite time of the year whenever they come to town. If you remember, Jarrod and I made a trip to see them in March. Here's my post from that trip. We'd like to make that an annual trip, because seeing each other only once a year is simply unacceptable. (We're working on convincing them to move to Raleigh!)

Busy, busy, busy!

Wow, I've just been going through my to-do list for the week as we get prepared for my sister's wedding next weekend and it's crazy! There's dry cleaning and picking up my dress and getting my hair done and helping put together flowers, etc. at the venue. It's going to be very busy. And that's not including some of the other things that I don't have actually "scheduled" (i.e. writing my toast!!)

I'm trying to not get stressed out. I can only imagine how my sister is feeling right now. The week before my wedding I got really sick. Like sick enough that I couldn't concentrate at work (and I was out of sick leave and couldn't take any time off) and had to go to urgent care 3 days before my wedding and get a shot of antibiotics. It was pretty rough, but thank God by the time the wedding got there I was back to 100%.

But back to now, I have a feeling that my 4 days of work are going to be my "down time." I'm glad to have another 3 day weekend coming up... even if it's going to be just as busy as this week. So that means I should probably be headed off to bed now to start my week off with more than 5 hours of sleep. Good night!

When there's nothing to say

What do you say... when there's nothing to say? I've been conflicted by this question lately. To speak or not to speak? That moment when everything fades away and you realize that no matter what comes out of your mouth, it's not going to fix anything. It probably won't even help.


So by speaking, are you doing more harm than good? Words of comfort seem so small and insignificant, when all you want to do is cry and scream at the top of your lungs. But you feel so worthless staying quiet. You think, "This person has entrusted me with this information, and I can't even do anything that will make them feel even just a little bit better??" 


You can scrounge up an "I'm sorry" or a "God will see you through" or maybe just an "I love you," but even those words seem to lose their meaning. You try to put yourself in their shoes and think, "What would I want to hear right now?" But you know you can never understand what it's like to be in their position and you have no idea what (if any) words would make you feel better at all. 


I hate feeling so helpless. It's like their stuck in the bottom of a pit and your arms are just not quite long enough to reach them. Try as hard as you can, but you'll never make it. 


I wish I had some resolution for this post. That I had come to some understanding of what to say or what not to say, but I've got nothing. But know this: I'm here for you and my heart is breaking right along side of yours. And while I wish more than anything in the world that I could say something that would alleviate some pain, I don't have those words. But I'll do everything in my power to shoulder some of that hurt. I love you.

Bacheloretting

Well here we are hardly a week before my sister's wedding. It's been a crazy couple of months with everything going on with this. I think I've been busier with this wedding than I was with my own. Is that normal? Perhaps it is, sometimes. But if there's anyone in the world that I want to make feel special on her wedding day, it's my big sis.

My sister is one of the sweetest, kindest people you'll ever meet and she'll do anything for you. If there's ever anyone I know I can call in the middle of the night and she'll be there to help me out, it's Beka. She was so great throughout all of my wedding planning, (which is perhaps why I didn't feel as busy... she took care of all of it!) and made sure that I had everything I wanted without all of the stress. I've done my best to be the same for her, but there's no way I could ever do that, but I've tried to make each step special.

A couple of weeks ago, Beka's future sister-in-law and I threw a shower for her and her fiance. It was a beautiful day and we grilled out and it was fabulous. (Plus, I had a great time hanging out with Beka's 9-week-old soon-to-be nephew!) Then this past weekend, we planned a Bachelorette weekend for Beka (and 13 others) in Asheville. It was magical, we rented a place in the woods that had a firepit and hot tub. We ate lots of good food... and drank lots of good wine... and explored Asheville a little. In the evening we went out to some local bars/nightclubs, and although it took us half of the night to find a good place, I think everyone had a great time wandering around the town. (There are some pictures involving a pig that I'm not allowed to show that can attest to that!)

But the best part about the weekend was just the time spent together. I don't know a lot of Beka's friends too well, so it was nice to get to know all of them a little more. It was nice to just get away and have some girl-time. Not all of the conversations were pleasant. Some were downright painful. But I feel that those involved left understanding each other a little better and having formed a deeper relationship.

I know there were some moments that were difficult (what do you expect when you've got 14 women in one place??) and unpleasant, but I really hope my sister felt special and realized how much everyone loves her... even if it wasn't always apparent.

So, Beka, I love you and I'm so happy for you and hope you've felt as special and you made me feel. I can't wait to stand next to you on your big day!

Gone to Carolina in my Mind

Chapel Hill touts itself as "The Southern Part of Heaven," and honestly, I couldn't agree more. Some of the best memories of my life take place in this beautiful town and I love being close enough to visit whenever I want. However, I'm often disappointed that I don't visit more often then I do, especially since it takes hardly more than half and hour to make it to campus from my house.

But the other week, my lovely co-grad Sarah and I made the trip back to the The Hill to hang out. It was great. We walked up and down Franklin Street, browsing through the boutiques and novelty shops along the way and stopping by Sugarland for ginger ales (in the bottle, just to further along the Mayberry feel). Then we strolled through campus and of course made a stop at The Pit to sit around for a while. Campus is so quiet this time of year. It's nice, but I also miss the craziness of a normal class day on campus.

Carolina is a great place to get away. It still has the same feel of home that it did four years ago. I assume that all college campuses can have this effect of those who attend school there, but it's a feeling I could never describe to anyone who didn't go there, but for those who did, they know exactly what I mean. Carolina takes me back to a simpler time of no rules or responsibilities and monthly checks from your parents. (Man, I miss those days!) The campus will always have a special place in my heart and I'm so thankful that I don't have to actually travel to get back.

I look forward to the day where I can share this experience with my family and I pray that they find a similar place that they can call their home-away-from-home (whether that place is Chapel Hill or somewhere else).

Hark the sound of Tar Heel voices
Ringing clear and true.
Singing Carolina's praises.
Shouting N-C-U.
Hail to the brightest star of all
Clear its radiance shine
Carolina priceless gem.
Receive all praises thine.

I'm a Tar Heel born
I'm a Tar Heel bred
And when I die
I'm a Tar Heel dead.
So it's Rah, Rah, Car'lina-lina
Rah, Rah, Car'lina-lina
Rah, Rah, Car'lina-lina
Go to hell, Dook!

Blogging and a Birthday

Well, I've been saying lately how busy it's been and how I haven't had much time to write, and all of the sudden this morning I realized how much I've missed it! I'm sitting here and I have the feeling like I forgot something and I realized, it's my writing.

Writing is very cathartic to me. I have a tendency to bottle things up and not talk about it, but sitting down and writing gives me the opportunity to express my feelings and let things out. I think I've been kind of stuffed up lately and it's giving me a headache, so I need to start getting things out. I'm making a mid-month goal for myself today: to write a post everyday for the next 7 days. I'm not sure if I'll stick to that or not, but we're going to give it a shot.

And there are so many things that have been going on lately that I can share! Just to name a few... I just spent a wonderful weekend in Asheville with my sister for her bachelorette. Her wedding is now 10 days away! I've decided to make a couple lifestyle changes recently. And finally, and where we'll land today, it's Rylie's first birthday.

You first met Rylie last September when Jarrod and I brought her home from the SPCA. Well 9 months later she's doubled in size and she's just as much a pain in the behind! But she's my sweetheart and keeps me on top of my cleaning and makes our little twosome a family. Hopefully now that we've made it to the 1-year mark, she'll start to grow out of some of her puppy-ways and become the well-behaved dog I know is in there... somewhere.

Jarrod and I will celebrate by sharing a delicious meal this evening in her honor. Sorry, Rylie, no people food for you. We tried giving her a special treat on Christmas (and by "we," I mean Jarrod. I was against it from the beginning) and the poor dear spent the afternoon throwing-up in the yard.

So Happy Birthday, Sweetie. (Don't piss me off today!)

June

I absolutely cannot believe that it's June 1st. The past month has flown by, but it's been a good one. So I took the past month or so off from blogging because, as I said before, I've been enjoying some much needed time with my husband. For the first time since before we've been married, we've had some time to enjoy being together and being lazy! When we just had weekends together, our time was so jam-packed with everything we needed to get done and spending time with our friends who we hadn't seen much, that there was no time to just relax and be together. So that's what we did last month. But now, it's time to get back into it and get moving. It's going to be a busy, busy month ahead, so it's going to take some discipline. I've got some catching up to do as well since there's a thing or two from last month that I'd like to share.

 

I'm excited that the summer is finally here... not officially, but with the past couple of weeks of 90-something-degree weather, it might as well be. I love the heat. I'd prefer it to stay in the 70s rather than the 90s, but I still think it's better than the cold winter. Jarrod would disagree with me, especially since our house has been so hot this past week and our AC working overtime, when I really don't even have it set very low.

 

But summer is the time for the beach/pool, grilling, gardening and home projects, and we've taken care of all of those... or at least have plans to do so. We've been grilling like crazy this past week or so. Steaks, burgers, chicken, salmon. It's the best! And Jarrod is awesome with the grill, so it's always delicious.

 

We are just wrapping up on a painting project in the main area of our house, and it looks great. Makes the house feel much more "homey" and warm. We've just got to finish up a little of the trim work and we'll be done. We've got some other plans, but I'll update on those as they come.

 

This month is my sister's wedding, which is just 24 days away now and there are so many things going on! Seriously, we've got a shower coming up this weekend, the bachelorette party the following, then all the little details in between there and the actual wedding date. But I'm looking forward to all of it and can't wait for the big day!

 

• So that's the major goal for this month is taking care of everything involved in that.
• host a fabulous bachelorette weekend extravaganza!
• write a great toast
• stand next to the best big sister ever as she marries a great guy
• there are a million of other things, but I won't list them all here
• Find a good balance between spending time with the hubby, getting enough sleep and making time for writing.

 

And from last month...

 

• Start taking family walks now that Jarrod is off early enough. WE'VE STARTED, BUT NEED TO MAKE IT A HABIT.
• Complete a house project. CHECK!
• Host a Mother's Day cookout for the whole family. CHECK! 
• Get prepared for my sister's wedding, this includes getting some sun at the pool, cutting out the junk food (I'm way too much of a muncher) and finishing up plans for the bachelorette weekend. CHECK! (at least for the most part)